Losing a Cell Phone and a Mind

Losing a Cell Phone and a Mind

Today, we Googled what to do if you lose your cell phone and were enlightened by these 5 easy steps.  Rachel and I considered each step and our reflections are;

1. Don't Panic

So, singing the 1979 Styx song "Why Me" on Route 202 in Mahwah would have been considered over the top?

2. Look around

There was a Blackberry sighting on Route 17, but she was wandering the highway in Mawah with a bindlestiff singing "All by Myself" by Celine Dion. I doubt that was my Blackberry, because she knows better to sing Celine Dion and would have been singing the Eric Carmen version instead.

3. Call yourself

I tried this, but my head kept saying "it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."  And, then I realized it meant to call the actual phone. 

4. Retrace your steps

I believe I might have been doing either the Cuban shuffle or electric slide right before the phone was lost. Retracing steps will be almost impossible.

5. Start over.

Well, its easy to get stuck and wallow in self-pity.  Maybe even pin the blame on Erin Kaplan Burns for making me put the roof down.  Or, shake my fist at Mother Nature for the beautiful summer night.  But, self pity will never get me to the dreams I have for my life - and by dream - I mean wish.  Today, I wish courage for Ina Garten (Barefoot Contessa).  The courage not to wear an over-sized denim shirt or buy her friends in the Hamptons.  I wish a heart for Sandra Lee because I suspect her heart is frozen solid with Russian Vodka.  But for me, I wish a brain.  A brain that would make me not drive away with the Blackberry clinging to the car for dear life.